Fullmetal Alchemist: The Final Chapter-The Final Alchemy

The Promised Day, a time long spoken of in whispers.  To those plotting within the shadows, it is the culmination of a plan 300 years in the making.  To Edward and Alphonse Elric, it’s an apocalyptic threat that must be prevented at all costs.  With the fate of an entire nation on the line, the Elric Brothers begin a race that will take them from the tunnels under Central to the frozen tundra of the Fortress of Briggs.  Along they way, allies new and unfamiliar will stand with them against the power of the Homunculi and their Father.  It’s the beginning of the final battle and the last chance Ed and Al both have at keeping their promise: To return their bodies to normal.  At the Gate of Truth, The Final Alchemy Begins.

While The Revenge of Scar did have some improvements over the first Fullmetal Alchemist film, it’s hard for me not to sit through The Final Alchemy and with each passing minute think ,”Yep…yep…knew this was gonna happen.”  That’s not to say the stories predictable (unless you’ve read the Manga).  No actually, if you’ve read the Manga, you know just how much story and material this single 2.5 hour film still had to cover.  Sad to say, The Final Alchemy hardly feels up to the task of doing justice to one of the best stories in Anime and yet cant make up its mind if it wants to rush to the effects laden finale or stop the film entirely to dump out truck loads of exposition.  This “trilogy” needed to be a “Quadrilogy” to properly convey this 27 volume Manga epic and in the end, finishes just as dismally as it began. 
 
Honestly, I don’t know where to start with The Final Alchemy.  Do I start with the terrible visual effects that seem to have only gotten worse with each film or the fact that the stars of the franchise, Ed and Alphonse, seem like supporting players in the own film?  Let’s start with the latter cause I think that’s what I took notice of most.  Van Hohenheim, Father of the Brothers, takes center stage in The Final Alchemy.  Ed and Al’s iconic and heartbreaking quest to restore themselves to normal feels like an almost forgotten plot point by the time we get around to talking about it again because most of the movie seems focused on Hohenheim’s issues, his dark and tragic past, his own shot at redemption.  Oh and those dump trucks of exposition?  Mostly Hohenheim delivering those lessons in snooze.  Sure there was plenty of this in the Manga too but that did a better balancing act and no one felt overshadowed by the other, not to mention information was delivered efficiently, concisely and in a manner that every revelation felt big, heavy and worth the wait.  Here, this is Hohenheim show featuring the Brothers Elric and the movie suffers for it.  To be fair, he isn’t the only one on exposition and lore delivery duty.  Nearly every character lends their voices to several scenes of explaining backstories or how alchemic rituals work to the point where it’s no wonder this movie clocks in at 2.5 hours.  How can a movie that’s basically a Live Action Compilation Film jump all over the place and yet lob so much information at the viewer in a slow as heck fashion?
 
As much as I praised the improved performance of Ryouskue Yamada as Edward in The Revenge of Scar, he isn’t given too many chances to let that Ed flourish.  There’s maybe one mini comedic freakout when he arrives at Briggs but that’s about it.  The poor actor who has fought to give fans the Ed they know and love is mostly standing around looking as lost as everyone when the endless history and lore lessons come out in droves.    It’s arguably just as bad or worse for anyone else in the film (who isn’t Hohenheim), especially those characters who are just introduced in The Final Alchemy only to get shoved aside and discarded until the finale, such as fan favorites like Izumi Curtis (mentor to the Elrics) and the gorgeous and fierce Olivier Mira Armstrong.  Poor Izumi only gets a couple sentences worth of backstory before she vanishes for half the film.  There’s also the final two Homunculi, Greed and Sloth, who are here but barely present.  Greed’s entire tale isn’t given its due and the prospect of him struggling to share a body with Lin is more like detail checked off on a list.  Sloth looks absolutely horrendous and proves the only solid visual effect in any of these films is Alphonse, I’ll come back to that.  Plus every other character who’s survived til this film needs their resolutions or lack there of as well.  It’s a jumbled mess and a waste of a cast that was probably stoked to be part of this undertaking.  Poor Mackenyu gets more dialogue but feels utterly wasted compared to his role as Enishi in Rurouni Kenshin: The Final, a movie that far better handled a ton of story and characters in a far more satisfactory way.
 
Going back to Sloth, like Alphonse he’s an entirely CG character and like most of the sets that make up 90% of this films backgrounds and various displays of alchemy, he looks unfinished and terrible to look at.  The first film had some good locations to work with but now, every environment is computer generated and you can easily make out the scenes where the cast is walking against a Green Screen just wondering what the heck the finished product will look like (or if they even care, man too many people in this movie look as bored as the audience).  Now one could argue given how crazy and effects heavy the final act is, the studio was just saving money til then.  Well that argument is bad because the finale is just as ugly and underwhelming as the rest of the films visual effects.  There’s so much digital dirt being kicked around and characters are just showing up like they’ve been rendered in out of nowhere to add to the carnage unfolding.  Actually, the worst effect of The Final Alchemy comes from Olivier using a tank to ram Sloth in the Briggs Fortress.  She looked like one of those old toy tanks with the pilot sticking out and if you pressed down on them, the tank would roll.  Are the effects in the Fullmetal Alchemist as bad as say Dragonball Evolution?  Considering I had to sit here and think about that question should be answer in and of itself. 
 
Fullmetal Alchemist: The Final Chapter-The Final Alchemy completes the train wreck this trilogy has been by sending said train through the station and several miles beyond its back walls.  There’s way too much exposition being delivered both too quickly and taking way too long to do so, this really needed a fourth film.  The visual effects are pretty bad and characters serve more as fanservice than being essential to plot.  And worst yet, the Elrics take a backseat to their Father, so much that you have to question if the trilogy totally forgot theyre the most important part of the franchise.  Do yourself a favor, if you want a good Fullmetal Alchemist experience, ignore these movies and go rewatch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood instead.  If you want to somehow subject yourself to several hours of how NOT to adapt a beloved Anime, well teach these films in small doses at film school.  Having to sit through them all felt like a terrible challenge.  At least I got a little bit of proper Edward in the second film, that’s the only praise I can give this saga…and that was the second film, not this one. 
 
Screw it, I’m giving this the score it deserves…a 0/10.