I try to keep an open mind about the titles I pick and
choose to review here on this blog.
However, there are certain titles I see that I just cant bring myself to
put in the time to do full on reviews.
Im not saying they wont get mentioned or even be part of a Top 5 (like
today) or even a bonus article down the line.
Full length series reviews, however, that’s not always a garuntee. Been thinking about this for a bit and I think
I narrowed it down. Today’s Top 5 is
dedicated to the Top 5 Titles I (Probably) Wont Review on the Gundam Anime
Corner (note the “Probably”, my mind could change on one or two of these but
only time will tell).
#5-Digimon
Adventure Tri
Been thinking about this title a bit lately, and watching
an abridged version which is pretty funny.
But the more I think about it, and think back to the first impression I did
on the first half of the first movie so long ago, the more I realize…I don’t think
I’m the right guy to review this one. As
I said in my FIF feature, I did love Digimon at one point, a lot. But those days are long behind me and I don’t
know if I could rediscover that enjoyment unless I went back and rewatched all
of Digimon Adventure 1 & 2. Plus
from what little I have seen…I feel like Tri is just depressing, like it’s
trying to be reflective on the past while looking to the future but also
robbing Digimon of the fun it had in earlier seasons. Am I wrong?
Should I shut up cause im not a hardcore fan? This is one of the two titles, however, I’ll
say is still probable and I might wait until the entire six film series wraps
up this year. For now, I’ll stick to the
abridged series…cause it is freaking hilarious.
#4-Ghost in the
Shell: Stand Alone Complex-The Laughing Man & Ghost in the Shell: Stand
Alone Complex 2nd Gig-Individual Eleven
By this point I think I have reviewed just about every piece
of Ghost in the Shell Anime there is: The movies, the entire SAC series, the
SAC movie-Solid State Society, Arise and The New Movie…that’s a lot. But there’s a reason I haven’t reviewed the
two compilation OVA features that sum up the two main plots of the SAC TV
series…there’s nothing new at all. I
feel like I could lump most compilation film features under this one (or make
it a separate Top 5 all together) but there are exceptions. Macross Plus: The Movie and RahXephon: The
Motion Picture both contained new footage and different spins on their central
plots (especially in RahXephon’s case).
The SAC OVA’s literally just splice the central plotted episodes
together for almost three hours that’s the equivalent of a weekend binge…when
really you could just watch Stand Alone Complex and Stand Alone Complex 2nd
Gig and get in all of the goodness they leave out from the occasionally superior
Stand Alone episodes.
#3-Berserk
The nightmares ive heard about this one, the small bits
ive seen, honestly I just want to sleep better at night without thinking about
a Band of the Hawk slaughterfest. Sure
Berserk is a popular title, well the 90’s series anyway (no way in hell im
touching the CG continuation abomination).
It’s the darkest fantasy story ive ever heard of and even with some cool
action and blood all across its landscapes, I cant bring myself to check it
out. Need further proof: At a Horror themed
panel at Otakon in 2016, the host held off until the very end to show everyone
the infamous Eclipse scene that contains the aforementioned “slaughterfest”…I properly
excused myself before it even popped up on the screen. Call me a coward, like I said, id rather have
better dreams. Plus I learned my lesson
from watching “everybody dies” before bed with The End of Evangelion (God will
that fill you head with crap if you watch it after dark).
#2-Most Shonen
Anime (Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, Naruto, One Piece etc.)
Shonen Anime are a very common entryway into the Anime
genre. In the 90’s it was Dragon Ball Z. In the early 2000’s it was Naruto, Bleach and
One Piece. In the 2010’s it kind of
varies (I guess Boruto and Dragon Ball Super now?). So what do those shows and more have in
common? They are really, really, REALLY
LONNNNNNNNNG!!!! As much as id love to
try reviewing Dragon Ball Z, the show is 291 episodes long. Naruto is twice as long (not counting
Boruto). And One Piece…Dear God in Heaven
that’ll probably reach 1000 episodes before it kicks the bucket…or gets to its
final act, it could go either way. I
just don’t have the time to commit to such an undertaking with any of those
shows. NOW, I would do some movie
marathoning if the number of films for a series was right. I already did that with Dragon Ball Z a couple
of years back, reviewing all of the films from Dead Zone to Resurrection
F. And I could definitely do the Bleach
Movies since there’s only 4 of them. The
longest kind of series ive ever covered on this blog hasn’t gone above 50 or so
episodes. And that’s only if im doing a
big summer project or splitting them up by series like I did with Full Metal
Panic (and that ended up being in the 50 range after 3 collective
seasons). Shonen titles will def poke
their heads in from time to time but never as a full length review, ever.
#1-G Savior
There is only one way anyone will ever get me to review
the blackest mark on the Gundam Legacy.
Well no there are a couple of ways: 1. Pay me…a lot of money; 2. Buy the
movie (cause I’m not buying it); 3…be a really, really, really good friend I wouldn’t
mind making this kind of a sacrifice for.
This movie is bad, really bad, like Mystery Science Theater 3000 needs
to parody the s*** out of t his bad. Horrific
CG, terrible Mecha designs, a non Japanese cast. You know it’s almost a good thing the G-Savior
is never called a Gundam cause it isn’t worthy of it. Cause of trash like this we may never get a
proper live action film for my favorite legendary Mobile Suit…thanks G-Savior.
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