Humanity’s mission was to return to Earth and rid it of
the menace that drove it away in the first place: Godzilla. The mission was a failure, with Godzilla
wiping out most of the human attack force.
Now, the survivors are desperate but are still determined to fight to
the death if it means destroying the King of the Monsters. To this end, Haruno and his squad discover an
ancient city with the help of the last of humanity living on Earth. Here, they will find the tools to launch a
second attack, weapons born from Godzilla’s mechanical counterpart,
MechaGodzilla. The battle begins again
but Haruno and company will find more than Godzilla waiting to test their
resolve. To destroy The King of the
Monsters, Haruno might have to face the possibility that he has become a
monster himself.
At the end of Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters, there
were a mountain of problems and very few positives…actually I don’t think there
were any outside of a good end theme song.
At the top of that impressive mountain of disaster stood one lingering
fact: there were still two more of these films to go. And knowing that this Godzilla Anime Trilogy
was made back to back to back, there was no way the producers and staff could
do the smart thing, wait and see what the audience reaction to the previous
film was, and work to correct and amend any and all complaints…or just cancel
the project all together. Sadly, that
last bit has no chance of happening because Part 2 of this bad idea has
arrived. And as hard as it is to fathom,
City on the Edge of Battle somehow manages to be WORSE than Planet of the
Monsters…and for the same exact reasons as that film.
Seeing as how this sequel picks up exactly where the last
film ended, the same lackluster tone and atompsphere, the terrible animation
and the human cannon fodder who cant seem to die no matter how hard we want
them to, are all still around. Nothing’s
changed, nothings evolved. Hell even
Godzilla himself decides to sleep off the movie until the last 20 minutes
because even he doesn’t want to be in this travesty bearing his name. In fact, Godzilla moves as slow as the movie
itself…why does he even appear at all?
Why would we want our amazing monster overlord when we can listen to
protagonist Haruno give an apology speech to his surviving squad about how he
put their lives at risk…but he’s still going to kill Godzilla so everyone
should just stay and help even though he told people they could head back to
their mothership? As far as bad leads
go, Haruno continues to be one of the worst and I feel bad for his voice
actors. Haruno refuses to be anything
less than a powder keg ready to explode and thus all of his lines are delivered
with grizzly attitude. He is not a hero. In fact it is stated point blank, much to
Haruno’s shock (sarcasm) that he is more the monster of this movie than
Godzilla himself…that isn’t incorrect.
But for every time Haruno is forced to question his choices, I kid you
not he is back to his old “KILL GODZILLA NO MATTER WHAT THE COST” self like
five minutes later (at one point I did count and was correct). Don’t look for any other stand outs. Not only does everyone look the same in this
movie but they behave the same too, teetering back and forth between
questioning Haruno’s insane command and just going along with it cause…well
theyre stuck on planet Earth and don’t have anything better to do.
Oh and don’t get too hyped at the potential of a Monster
vs. Monster showdown. Despite the
constant teases at MechaGodzilla, Godzilla’s metal counterpart is only
repeatedly mentioned and never seen. In
it’s place we have…God I do not kidd…“Mecha Godzilla City”…yes you read that
right (it’s either the worst title ever produced or the greatest idea for a
rock band ever). It’s a city that was
made from MechaGodzilla’s remaining living metal components and is basically
around to be a fortress from which Haruno can forcibly continue his suicidal
campaign against the King of the Monsters.
Mecha G City could have been the Transformers Metroplex of this story: a
city that could transform and take on Godzilla one on one…nope. In the place of giving Godzilla something to
try and shoot at, we have the Vulture Mecha Suits. In truth, the designs and movements of these
mechs are the sole good point of the film.
They’re still being used by idiots trying to kill Godzilla but they do
look cool. Besides that, Mecha Godzilla
City is just there to be a plot device, the source of a philosophical debate
about man, machine and monster…and for Godzilla to eventually blow up cause its
what he does best.
If you even paid remotely close attention to a story
that’s trying to be deeper than it actually is, then you’ll be more confused by
the plot of City on the Edge of Battle.
There’s human descendants who vanish from the movie and don’t contribute
much besides references to a Godzilla foe who probably wont be popping up in
this crappy saga (two of them are twins, which should indicate which Monster im
talking about). There’s apparently a sub
class of humans in this Godzilla Revenge Squad that I totally missed who can
merge with Mecha Godzilla City to boost its building and attack power…ok. And of course, more and more debates about
life, the universe and everything and the slow dawning that, it isn’t until the
last 20 minutes of the movie that Godzilla decides to wake up and shuffle
himself over to the final act. At some
point, this stops being a Godzilla movie and just an exercise in extreme
patience. Nothing makes sense, there’s
no one to root for cause you don’t care about anybody. And I haven’t even gotten to the animation,
which still looks horrible. The humans
are just as stiff in their movement as Godzilla. The Mechas show promise but they don’t really
do much in the end besides buzz around Godzilla while Haruno screams his damn
head off again. Story? There is no story, which is more mind
boggling that this came from one of Anime’s tour de force writers, Gen Urobuchi
(Fate/Zero, Psycho Pass).
In the post credits scene of the movie, a big name is
dropped, directly setting up the final chapter of the trilogy. It is a name that brings excitement and an
image of a battle that could be epic.
However, even if it can somehow be great, it will not be enough to save
this failing trilogy. Everything bad
about Planet of the Monsters was made worse in Godzilla: City on the Edge of
Battle. It might be better to just mute
the audio and do your own Rifftrack of the whole flick because it will make
more sense and be more enjoyable than anything youre watching on screen. But hey at least there’s another good theme
song, right? Guys, just Google
that. The only reason I’ll review the
last chapter of this stinker is so none of you will have to watch it unless you
really want to have fun tearing something apart that someone believed was a
revolutionary Godzilla project…and even then, you should just watch Shin
Godzilla instead…or the Comic Con Trailer for Godzilla: King of the
Monsters…anything but this mess.
2/10
Knocks on Toho/anime production offices. John asks, "Umm, are you going to have some Godzilla in your Godzilla anime? Hello...(knocks more)...Hello is anyone home?"
ReplyDeleteGOD THIS SUCKS
I can't imagine I found something that makes me maybe, MAYBE, makes me want to watch the '98 American GINO movie instead. Your review is good pointing out the problems, many of which carry over from the last one.
There's nuggets of good ideas here, humanity forced to flee Earth because of Godzilla and other Kaiju in a Battlestar Galactica style exodus. Eventually returning to an Earth, ruled by the monsters. However, it's lost in way, WAY too many plot threads. The main characters quest for revenge, the future of humanity, not one but TWO alien factions with the humans. Oh and BTW let's name drop you know who at the end. Plus, all the trouble to mention Mecha-Godzilla...and we don't even get to fraking see it in action.
It was a grind to watch and when its over you go, 'Christ there's a fucking 3rd one?' This is really a shame because the Godzilla universe or IP is one I think perfect for anime. In fact, the anime can be a lot freer as you don't need to make sets limited by what an actor in a suit can do or have lots of expensive CGI. So, it's a shame to see the medium wasted like this.