In ancient Japan, the evil Lord Kira uses his mysterious
witch ally to disgrace his rival, Lord Asano.
The old man if forced to take his life in Seppuku (Japanese ritual
suicide) and his men are forbidden from seeking revenge, even if they can prove
Kira was behind this catastrophe. One
year later, Asano’s right hand, Oishii, prepares for one last mission of
vengeance. Gathering his comrades
together, Oishii and a small band of warriors brave impossible odds and vicious
magic to take back their homeland and slay their masters killer. However, to combat the power of demons, Oishii
must call upon an outcast/half breed named Kai, who possesses supernatural
skills that may be the key to true victory.
Oh 47 Ronin. From
right off the bat, the trailers looked less than promising. Wacky effects, a Christmas release date,
Keanu amongst a group of hardened samurai, none of it seemed to click with
me. Yet I am a huge fan of Japanese Anime
and an admirerer of Japanese culture.
Ergo, I knew at some point I would check this film out. But wouldn’t you know it. As if I simply blinked, 47 Ronin dropped out
of most theaters around my way in a matter of what felt like hours instead of
days. Probs for the best since I’m
definitely glad I didn’t spend $12 or more for maybe less than five minutes of
decency and the rest a giant load of…bummer.
From what little I have learned, the story of the 47
Ronin is highly revered in Japan, their story celebrated annually. It is a tale of revenge, honor and courage
that resounds through the ages and is worthy of a big screen adaptation. Turns out it has been brought to the cinemas
a few times but this is the first time it has gone for broke on over the top
storytelling. And that there is the
films biggest flaw: the story was big and special enough without visual
effects, magic witches, dragons and solider and creepy bird faced me…there’s
also Keanu Reeves but it’s easy to ignore him since the rest of the film kind
of does.
Yes, 47 Ronin is just about as bad as everyone makes it
out to be. The story drags, the action
for the most part is uninspiring, and it feels like it is trying to be nothing
more than an over blown embellishment of a tale seeped in digital pixels. Which is a shame because, as I said earlier,
the story is big enough. If the film had
stuck to a simplistic story of revenge that felt worthy of retelling and just
stuck to swords and honor, it could have worked. Hell if they wanted to add mystical elements,
an Anime would have suited the story just fine.
13-26 episodes (26 would probably have been better like Samurai 7) we
could have gotten to know and care about these revenge and duty driven Samurai
and felt that their final victory was worth the price they pay in the end. But no, this is Hollywood, not Japan. And if it’s one thing anyone can attest to,
it’s that Hollywood has a tendency to take proper Japanese storytelling and
ruin it for everyone (Dragon Ball: Evolution anyone?)
There is, believe it or not, one decent thing about 47
Ronin and that lies in the star of the story.
NO, not Keanu, he may get top billing but he’s so wasted and irrelevant
it’s a wonder why he’s even here to begin with.
I’m talking about Hiroyuki Sananda as Oishii. Sananda has played other leadership and
samurai roles in the past (he was Ken Watanabe’s second in command in The Last
Samurai and the Captain of Icarus 2 in Sunshine) and he brings to the screen a
sense of having done this before over a long period of time. Like Ken Watanabe, he is the embodiment of
the samurai spirit passed down through the ages. And his two scene stealing fights in the
film, one against Keanu’s Kai and his final showdown with Kira, show he is
super bad ass with a sword and will kick your ass in real life lol (need
further proof of this, he was also one of the main villains in The Wolverine,
where he had an amazing one on one duel with Hugh Jackman with samurai swords
vs claws that is one of the best comic book film fights I have ever seen). If the film had been just about Oishii and a
couple of extra dudes then I would have enjoyed the film more despite poor
effects and storytelling.
Shout outs should also go to Rinko Kikuchi (Mako from
Pacific Rim) who looks like she’s having fun playing a slightly seductive witch
even though she has no clear direction or motivation…if there was it was poorly
explained and I’ve had my fill of powerful witches with God like powers and an
overabundance of “I’m a bad ass, let me tell you over and over again”.
47 Ronin could have been s true spectacle, a nice update
of a time honored tale. But somewhere
down the line, the story was sliced, diced and tossed into a soup of CGI and
poor screenplays and this is what we ended up with. I know I was warned over and over and over
and over again not to give it a shot but I did and hey I got to write my own
review, plus see Hiroyuki Sananda kick some serious ass with a samurai sword,
so I will not say it was time completely wasted. If anything, seeing this film should prompt
someone to seek out an older film version and enjoy its better take on the
tale. The heroic and inspiring story of
the 47 Ronin may be forever remembered by history…however it’s best that this
less than tolerable take on their legacy be forgotten…lest the 47 Ronin rise
from their graves to seek revenge…by finding every single copy of this film and
erasing it from existence
3/10
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